Gonna Make A Change...
"A year from now you will wish you had started today." ~Karen Lamb Good Day!
Change is inevitable, however, our minds and bodies absolutely love the status quo. We literally hold on to what we have for dear life, even if what we have isn't what we ultimately want. There are so many ways that we sabotage ourselves or allow others to do the same just so things don't change. The reasons we don't change are many: lack of self-worth, belief, love… fear. Basically we get stuck, all of us, and we do everything we can (sometimes consciously) to stay stuck.
When we are making big changes, communicating these changes to others can sometimes be what stands in the way of where we are and where we are attempting to go. Often we don't communicate what we are working on because we don't want to be viewed as flawed or we don't want to face how others will feel about our changes. Whether it is giving up drinking, eating only whole foods, working out more, including a spiritual practice, or any number of other changes, we fear other's opinions of our choices. The only reason we fear what someone may say is because we are questioning what we are doing ourselves. The truth is you may get resistance from others around your changes. That isn't surprising. Change is scary for those who are stuck, or those who feel that stability is what you should be striving for. However, if you give those people the chance, and the right energy around your decisions, they will have to either come on board or fall off. Many times letting others know that you are changing and that you need support the door for them to do the same is opened. I have seen many of my friends and loved ones make big shifts after being asked to support others around shifts of their own. The flip-side of this is that if you communicate your changes in a way that says you are not sure or supportive of your own decisions, your loved ones will support your lack of certainty by being seemingly unsupportive. They may sabotage you, they will test your resilience. They are reflecting what you have shown them, that is all.
Many of my clients end up changing their relationship to food and exercise. Most end up afraid of the reaction of those in their life that are used to how the status quo. Obviously their friends and family have supported the behaviors that have allowed them to maintain a lifestyle that creates illness and dis-ease… so the fear that they won't be supported in the change isn't unfounded, after all, when we see others changing we begin to look at ourselves. However, we all need to give our family and friends the chance to support us and the opportunity to do some self-reflection. They love us, they want the best for us even when it may not seem that way. Communicating in a way that lets others know that you are secure in your decision gives them direction to be secure in your decision as well. You have to own what you are doing and communicate as such. You also need to understand that change is hard and that the resistance you may get is not about you at all. Your changing will ripple out in so many awesome ways, it is assured. You will be tested regularly by your own voices and from the voices of others. After a while the become less and less impactful. The bottom line is, when you are ready to make a change, really ready to make it, when you own your decision to do so, nothing will hold you back, not even yourself.
xo
a
"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." ~Andre Gide