Less Is More
Hello :) Over the years I have had to learn how to pull back. Do less, say less, give less, in order to have the impact I desire. I believe most of us have had the opportunity to be in a place where we have simply done too much. Maybe it was advice to a friend, possibly unsolicited, definitely biased. Maybe you gave your opinion on something that had nothing to do with you. Maybe you became attached to the outcome of what your friend would do. Either way, you may have learned (or maybe you haven't) that advice, though nice, cannot be received if it wasn't permitted. Sometimes sitting back, letting things unfold as they may is the best way.
As a coach I have had to use my voice in various ways for all of the different personalities that I have worked with. Some folks need a gentle approach where you sandwich critique, others need to be told straight, no chaser. Either way you want to say whatever it is that you need to say in as few words as possible. Too much is too much. When you are being told you aren't doing well in an area how well do you hear, how hard are you listening? Or do you become defensive and shut down a wee bit? Well if any part of you shuts down or blocks out critique then imagine others doing the same when you tell them something you don't like or shine a light on an area that needs tending to. Bottom line, pull back the reigns and let the situation breathe. Say what you mean and let it go. Be clear and concise instead of over communicating believing you are being nice.
Some of us have a family member a friend or acquaintance that may not be 'living up to his/her potential." Says who? Honestly, we all are falling short of our potential. When you realize we are all coming from where we are, someone who seems to be not 'living up' to their potential may simply be a bit behind you in certain ways… that doesn't mean it is your duty to pull them along. You don't give them everything they seem to be lacking. How on earth will they figure out how to grow if they don't figure things out for themselves. Giving in this situation is not what it seems… the giving needed here is that of love and space. Giving others the space to figure their own life out is almost always more impact than if you lead someone around like a child, never trusting that they will learn the lessons life has in store for them.
When you are putting all of yourself into a situation, person, place and feel that frustration is what you get in return, you may be doing too much. You may need to pull back and let things be. It is amazing how things begin to balance out when you let them. What wouldn't come to you now falls in your lap. Someone who wouldn't listen is now asking for advice. Overall you have more time to focus on why giving, speaking, doing is so important to you which may lead you to discover that you have been using these things as a tool to hide from yourself. When you take it down a notch you see things in a different way, you are aware of how much you don't know and in what ways you too need growth.
"The universe knows how to organize itself without your help." Marianne Williamson
xo
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